Finding Self-Love in a World Obsessed with Thinness
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Oh, honey, let me tell you – having self-love living in a world obsessed with thinness is no easy gig, especially when you’re rocking a body that you no longer try shrinking to fit into society’s bullshit beauty (body) standards.
For the longest time, I thought my worth was tied to the size of my jeans, but spoiler alert—it’s not!
These days, I’m strutting through life as the fat, fabulous, body positive fairy godmother who loves herself unapologetically and is spreading body positivity like it’s confetti!
Buckle up because we’re diving into my journey from self-loathing to self-love.
The Roots of Self-Hatred
Picture this: little me, chubby cheeks, and a big heart, already being told I needed to “fix” my body. By fifth grade, I was on my first diet.
Yeah, you read that right—fifth grade!
And that moment kicked off years of believing my body was a problem to solve, not the amazing vessel it really is.
Oh but the compliments I got for losing weight over the years?
They felt like gold stars at the time but came with a hefty price tag: diet pills, crazy workouts, and habits so destructive they landed me in the ER and with an eating disorder (if you struggle with an eating disorder – there is hope; check out National Eating Disorders Association!).
My reflection became my worst enemy, and I couldn’t see the girl in the mirror as anything but broken.
A One-Way Ticket to Rock Bottom – No Self-Love
High school and college? A whole mess. The pressure to shrink myself was deafening.
I was on a hamster wheel of self-destruction, chasing the impossible dream of being “thin enough.” Spoiler alert again: there is no “enough” when you’re running that race.
What’s worse, I didn’t just hate my body.
I hated me—the person underneath it all.
My life revolved around becoming someone I wasn’t, and in the process, I lost sight of who I really was (I’m not sure I even knew who I really was, honestly).
The Wake-Up Call
Funny enough, my road to self-love didn’t start with body acceptance—it started with getting sober (been sober now since 2014!).
You read that right!
Walking into my first AA meeting, I was greeted by women who said, “we’ll love you until you can love yourself.” I thought they were bat shit crazy – I wasn’t there to be loved on; I was there to learn how to stay sober.
But you know what? They did love me…
And somewhere along the way, I started believing I was worth loving.
Sobriety opened the door to therapy, journaling, personal development, and the slow unraveling of all the lies I’d been telling myself about my worth.
By 2017, I’d started to feel a shift. I wasn’t fully there yet, but I could see a glimmer of something beautiful—me.
Kicking Diet Culture to the Curb & Finding Self-Love
The turning point came in October 2018…
A dimly lit yoga class (one specifically for plus size bodies!), candles flickering, with a room full of attendees laying on their mats on the floor getting ‘present’, and a teacher who said, “I feel like someone needs to hear this tonight. You have permission to take up space just as you are—fat and all.”
Cue the waterworks.
I cried in a room full of strangers!
For the first time, someone was telling me there wasn’t anything wrong with my fat body!
That night, I ditched the scale and gave diet culture the middle finger it so richly deserved.
For the first time, I felt free.
I started seeing my body not as something to fix but as something to celebrate.
Those stretch marks? Proof of resilience.
My belly? A soft, comforting reminder of the life I’ve lived (and the life I carried inside me that was TWO WEEKS over due… that’s a different story for a different day LOL).
Strutting into Confidence: Plus-Size Modeling
Talk about dreams coming true!
After my yoga experience, I decided to chase a lifelong goal: modeling. The world tells us fat girls can’t model, but guess what? The world is wrong.
I showed up to an open casting call, nerves and all, and got selected!
Walking down the runway for the first time, I felt unstoppable.
The applause from the audience wasn’t just for the clothes—it was for showing up as my unapologetic, fabulous, FAT self.
That moment wasn’t just about me, though! It was a rallying cry for every other plus size woman who’s been made to feel less than because of taking up space in a fat body.
A Pep Talk for My Plus-Size Sisters
So, what’s the moral of the story?
Queen, you don’t need to shrink yourself to fit society’s standards or “well-meaning” friends and family’s expectation of what they think your body should look like!
Your body isn’t the problem—the rampant fatphobia, bullshit body standards, and other’s narrow-mindedness is!
If you’re waiting for permission to take up space, let this be it.
Stop apologizing for existing.
Stop waiting to wear the clothes you love.
Stop waiting to chase the dreams you’ve tucked away.
Stop waiting to find love.
Stop waiting to travel.
Or simply be happy.
The time is TODAY…
Self-love isn’t a destination—it’s a journey. And that journey starts with accepting who you are, right now.
Not five pounds from now, not after yet another diet, and certainly not when society decides you’re “worthy.”
You’re worthy right now.
Listen, life is too short to waste it hating your body.
Throw out the scale, burn the rulebook, and write your own story. Your stretch marks, your rolls, your ‘bat wings’ (aka flabby arms)—they’re all worth celebrating.
Let’s rewrite the script together. Say it with me: I am enough.
Go out there and take up space, gorgeous queen because the world needs & deserves to see you shine. ✨
✨ Ready to start embracing your self? Check out my guided journal, Love Your Body, Love Yourself: A 21 Day Self-Love & Body Acceptance Journey. The prompts were created to help you celebrate your body and practice radical self-love every day. Grab your copy on Amazon here and start your journey today! 💖